a mess of life

That’s what I’ve got right now.  It seems like it’s been longer than it has been since I’ve posted, but it’s still been a few weeks.  Time for an update.

Well, my uncle passed away at the end of October.  Mom and I went to Arkansas to see him in the hospital the day before he died, so we got to say goodbye.  Dad followed us out there for the funeral.  I got to play my bagpipes for him and for my aunt, which was very special to me.  We had the opportunity to visit with a large number of family members, some of whom we hadn’t seen in many years, so that was a bit of a silver lining, I suppose.  This is me and my uncle last winter when my other uncle passed away and we went to Arkansas:

The days since the funeral have been pretty hard.  There are lots of emotions that go along with that event, and that’s on top of some depression that my fiance and I have both been experiencing lately (not to do with each other, more our situations in other parts of life).  Some days I just called out from work; thank goodness I work in the counseling field where my supervisors understand and encourage me to take the time I need (I’m extra glad about that because there’s been all kinds of stuff going on at work, too).  Even as a counselor, it’s hard not to slip farther into depression and let my anxiety get the better of me.  You can’t exactly counsel yourself.

Crochet and knitting might would be an excellent outlet and relief, but I honestly haven’t been able to pull anything out to work on.  Instead I’ve been diving headfirst into researching fountain pens and calligraphy — I’d like to do my own stuff for the wedding’s required paper goods (BTW, the wedding date has been confirmed!  It’s next October 17th!).  I’ve been practicing my handwriting with a flex-nibbed fountain pen:

I think I’m getting better!

Well, that’s all for today I suppose.  That pretty much summed up everything I can tell you about my life right now.  Thanks for stopping by, and I’ll be back with the yarcraft related posts soon, I hope!  It’ll be good for me, I’m sure.  See you then!


  1. Shirley Davis says:

    Oh my, you break my heart. I hope you are feeling better soon. Your writing is beautiful. I have battled depression most of my life and the recent death of my daughter has made me worse. I try to just deal with a day at a time. God bless you.


  2. I’m so sorry to hear about your uncle. I hope things get better for you soon. Hang in there.


  3. Judy Lafleur says:

    Hannah, I enjoy your posts. I am sorry to hear of your Uncle’s passing! You are very creative and knitting and crochet are definitely therapeutic however calligraphy falls right in the same category. Hang in there and I will be looking forward to your posts.


  4. Linda McNally says:

    So sorry for your losses and problems with depression. You are young to have so much at once. At my age (65 next wk) I have lost all my aunts, uncles etc. I have come to accept that death is just another part of our lives. Some losses are harder than others and it sounds like you were very close to both your uncles. Everyone grieves differently but it always complicates the other parts of our lives. It is true that time is a great healer so I hope you will give yourself the gift of time to heal your heart and let the other pieces of your life fall into place. Be kind to yourself and not expect so much from yourself. Thanks for all you give to your followers; I enjoy your posts. I also think your calligraphy is excellent! Take Care xo


    • Thank you so much for your sympathy and wisdom. I will have to remind myself to take enough time and also to not be so hard on myself. I’m bad about both of those. I hope you have a very happy birthday next week!


  5. Linda McNally says:

    Do not know what is meant by “awaiting moderation”


  6. Linda McNally says:

    Your Welcome …and thank you for the birthday wishes.


  7. Denise Daniel says:

    Hannah, I have loved following your blog for many months. You are such an inspiration – both with your crochet creativity and your passion for life and overcoming obstacles. I, too, am a counselor – I retired in June after 25 years of helping others help themselves. I know first hand we can’t counselor ourselves. Art – of any kind – is a great therapeutic outlet. Hang in there, Hannah. You are such a blessing! xoxo 😀


  8. Your picture is beautiful. Losses and disappointments make life hard, but you will be an even more understanding counselor after what you have been going through.

    My worst times showed me how important God is in my life. Let Him carry the heavy parts.

    We are here for you.



  9. I know how you feel. All I can tell you is what I tell myself – it will pass, and you won’t always feel this way. I’ve learned not to force myself to do things. if you’re not up to crochet, it’s not the end of the world. ❤


  10. I’m sorry to read that you are having a hard time just now. I only found your blog recently but am enjoying looking through the archives. I lost my dear mum in July 2013 and still miss her as much today as I did 17 months ago. Life does go on though and its important to remember the good times and to make new good memories with the people around you who are still here. Creativity does help but just follow what you feel like doing – you have to go easy on yourself at a time like this xxx


  11. gigiloopstreet says:

    I have lost someone recently and it is quite difficult.
    Crochet helped me a lot….I hope you will feel better soon. All the best. Giselle


  12. You know you have my support and always prayers. (((hugs)))


  13. Big warm hug x


  14. Beautiful calligraphy. I find that sometimes I need to find creative outlets in different places as well… life is all about balance, I guess. I hope you find your peace where you can as you balance your life right now.


  15. Your calligraphy is beautiful. Sorry to hear of your loss. Hope things get brighter soon – exciting news about the wedding. X


  16. The uniformity of the letters in your calligraphy is impressive.
    What a wonderful outlet for you at this time.
    Take care.


  17. Hi Hannah,

    I visited your site briefly before. But at this moment I’m writing he blog about the Dutch Cal 2014, the Dutch version of your As-We-Go-Stripey-Blanket. So that’s why I popped by today and saw your latest blog.
    All I can say is: Take your time and be kind for yourself. If you feel like it pick up those hooks and enjoy the feeling of having things in your own hands – wich IRL can be completly different- and create something beautiful.
    Big hug from Belgium!



  18. Wow Hannah wonderful that you guys have a wedding date!! It’s so special to be married to your special friend. Hope the depression will disappear. If not, maybe you need a counsellor!! Don’t forget to take care of you!! Cast all your burdens on the Lord and He will give you strength!! I also love calligraphy. It is beautiful. With love, from South Africa!!


  19. Hello.. one of my blog readers sent me over to see your calligraphy.. it’s beautiful writing! I also did a post on my blog about my calligraphy practicing if you want to pop over and visit..

    *H*A*P*P*Y* * *H*O*L*I*D*A*Y*S*!*!*!*

    ((hugs)), Teresa 🙂


  20. Sad to hear of your uncle passing, death is always an unwelcomed guest, but it was nice for you to say goodbye.
    Congratulations on your wedding!! and I hope you and your fiance are feeling better …job stress is the worst….


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